| Director | Al Waxman, Mark Warren, Rex Bromfield |
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Leland Irving (Gabe Kaplan) is depressed and lonely. He survives suicide attempts, and hires a professional hit man, Maurice Avocado (Henry Gibson) to kill him; Avocado will use the code word "Tulips" when the time is at hand. While awaiting his fate, Leland comes across a woman—Rutanya Wallace (Bernadette Peters)—who is attempting suicide, and saves her. Rutanya is suffering from being rejected by a lover, but is charmingly unconventional and outgoing, the opposite of Leland's introvert. Their lives become intertwined, and although wary and battling initially, they fall in love and marry.
However, now that they have found each other, they must call off the hit by Avocado, and complications arise. When Avocado will not agree to calling off the hit, Leland and Rutanya desperately try to obtain guns, etc., to attempt to kill the killer. In the end, no one dies.
In one of the early scenes of their courtship, Leland plays the tuba while Rutanya sings "The Sidewalks of New York".