| Director | Peter Atencio |
|---|---|
| Budget | $15 million |
| Box office | $20.7 million |
Assassins named the "Allentown Brothers" enter a Mexican cartel's drug-processing facility and kill everyone, including the boss, King Diaz. They try to take Diaz's kitten, Iglesias, but the kitten escapes. Recently dumped Rell Williams finds the kitten on his doorstep and names it Keanu. Two weeks later, Rell and his cousin Clarence Goobril, who live in Los Angeles, come home from seeing a movie. When they return, Rell's place has been ransacked and Keanu is missing.
Rell's next door neighbor and weed dealer Hulka tells them that the "17th St. Blips" gang may have raided Rell's looking for Hulka's drug money. Hulka sends them to a strip club, where they meet Hi-C, a female gangster, and the gang's leader Cheddar, who mistakes them for the Allentown Boys. Cheddar says he will return the kitten if they act as expert advisors for the Blips on a run to sell a new drug called "Holy Shit". After the sale run, they are abducted by the real Allentown Boys.
Rell and Clarence are tied to chairs and the Allentown Boys prepare to torture them. Keanu frees Rell and Clarence, and they grab their guns. As the Allentown boys approach them, Clarence and Rell unload the guns into them. On their way out, searching for Keanu, they run into the Blips and Cheddar forces them to come along to meet with the Mexican drug cartel the next morning.
There, the Blips meet King Diaz's cousin, Bacon Diaz, offering Clarence and Rell, ‘The Allentown Boys.’ When Bacon also demands "Iglesias", Cheddar refuses and a gunfight erupts between the two gangs. Clarence and Rell shoot their way out of the mansion pursuing Bacon, who has Keanu, only for Rell to be shot in the leg and Clarence shot in the hand.
Rell, who never learned to drive, hijacks Bacon's escape car with Bacon and Keanu in the back. Clarence chases them. It ends at Clarence's front yard where Rell crashes, sending Bacon flying through the broken windshield. Bacon gets up and attempts to shoot Rell, but Clarence runs him over. Again, Bacon gets up, but is shot dead by Cheddar and the Blips.
Hi-C reveals herself as an undercover police officer. She forces the Blips to drop their guns and shoots Cheddar. The police arrive. Hi-C promises to testify for leniency and agrees to go on a date with Rell after they get out of jail. Six months later, Rell and Clarence have three weeks left on their jail sentences. They are respected by the inmates, including the Blips, for killing the Allentown Boys. Hi-C brings Keanu, telling Rell through a visitation phone that Keanu has a rare disease which will cause him to stay a kitten forever.
In a post credit scene, it is revealed that the Allentown Boys, despite suffering multiple gunshot wounds, survived and drive off into the night.