| Director | Chris Prynoski |
|---|---|
| Runtime | 85 min |
| Country | United States |
The story of two best friends, aspiring screenwriter Elliot (Patton Oswalt), and aspiring actor John (Paul Rudd), who was kicked out of acting school, whose dreams of super-stardom have fizzled and have both been fired from every kind of job they have ever done. After John's disastrous interview with celebrity Brett Anderson (Reid Scott), he and Elliot make a pact to become famous before their 30th birthday in 24 hours. In their first attempt at doing this they get beat up by a homeless man named Archie (Mike Judge) after trying to get a check back from him upon finding the camera only filmed their feet: in their second attempt they get rescued from a fire trying to rescue an old woman from it, with the same woman ending up rescuing Elliot from it. After an interview is denied, John concludes that it's not fame they want, its infamy.
Elliot and John attempt to hack a company using the names "deadly jester" and "fist of satan" but the owner, Marvin Masterson (Paul Scheer), retaliates by using his "reverse-screw-driver" to delete all of John's pornography and melt Elliot and John's computer. John later decides to go on a killing spree in order to get more attention. Elliot is reluctant to help John with this, but eventually decides to do it, saying to him that he can't do it alone. They buy chloroform to use to kill their elderly neighbor, but John has second thoughts. Elliot and John then discover that while in disguise, during one of their previous attempts at fame, they became witnesses to a robbery and are now being called the "mystery witnesses". The two go on TV to tell everyone they are the "mystery witnesses", and quickly become a full media sensation with the help of Sally and Linda (Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome), two girls who work at a mall and with whom the boys flirt. However, when brought to the police station soon after, they are informed by Detective Donahue (John Ennis) that the man who had committed the robbery and was arrested is actually a relative of the member of a Cleveland crime syndicate. As such, the two are now being forced to go to the witness protection program to make sure that his family members won't find and kill them. Desperate not to throw their life away, the two run away from the station and hide out in Sally and Linda's apartment and come up with an idea to kill the mystery witnesses.
Elliot and John go to the Nerd King (Hannibal Buress), the overweight owner of a collectible store and a trade partner for tools they had used in their failed fame attempts, and using a rare collectible action figure, are able to get help from him to fake the deaths of the "mystery witnesses". After it is done, the two return to Sally and Linda's apartment to find it filled with the press, resulting in them getting arrested for running away live on television, during which they ask Sally and Linda if they would like to join them in the witness protection program, but are left with only being allowed for the four to exchange their goodbyes. In the end, John and Elliot are seen working at a diner while wearing fake mustaches. They smile knowing they have finally gotten what they wanted: fame.